"...well. it started out with how i was talking about how church is stupid and priests are these dudes who think they're awesome and it's all bs. and then we talked about that and then we somehow got onto the subject of vampires and my mom said she's met spiritual vampires before. and one time when she was 17, this 40 year old lady talked to her and wanted her to come to her house because her husband was a photographer. and the lady said she wanted my mom to be a swimsuit model. and it turns out that she really just wanted to have sex with her. =/ and my mom was all freaked out but the lady had cocaine so she got high and left. and then we were talking about psychics and palm readers and how world history isn't really worth anything in the long run. wtf do you really need to know about the incan empire anyways? and. yeah that took a really long time..."

"...you should. say that all punctuation talks to you. but like. the !'s really do. because they're always yelling. and you just want them to stop. and sometimes periods try to get them to calm down, but they won't. they just wait a while and yell some more. and question marks don't say anything, they just try to grab you with the little claw on the end of them. and parenthesis eat all the apostrophes and commas, which makes reading really hard and run-on sentences inevitable." 

"its the first hour in the last day of the first month of the new year"
seriously. i had to think about that.